KeishaCarlyCatastrophe 1: Revenge
by Boythegreat
Summary: and her friends try to get back at Darrell, with Carly's help, for not paying child support. But instead they are the ones who have to pay.
1. Chapter 1

1 - iCarly Makes a Video for Keisha Fabo

Please be aware that this is a Fan Fiction

November 5, 2011

Scene 1

: Oh my gay! Darrell didn't pay his child support fo' the third month in a row! Imma call Breadquanda to see if she can knock, or suck, some sense innah him!

Breadquanda: (The phone rings) Who the fuck is calling me now? I'm tryin-a watch Jerry Springah!

Jerry Springer: So, you're adopting 5-month-old Amaya even though Darrell's the father?

Breadquanda: Oh my gay! Don't do it, !

(the phone rings)

(Breadquanda picks up the phone): Who the fuck is this, cuz I'm tryin-a watch on Jerry!

: This _is_ , and I'm'n'a tell you about Darrell! He ain't'a pay child support for the last three months, so Imma tell you to get him in line!

Breadquanda: Oh my gay, I know just the thing! We'a make a video on the YouTube about him and he'll be embarrassed and then we'll go on Dr. Phil and then he'll pay his child support!

: Okay, but I had tried dat shit befow and he ain't hav'n' an internet so he can't watch it and only like 300 people saw it befow it got banned from YouTube!

Breadquanda: Oh My GAY, but I know this smart bitch named iCarly and she makes videos dat everyone watches! We'a get her support as long as we don't say bad words _(making a hand gesture) _because fuckin' 7-year-olds havta watch it so they can talk about it at schooowel.

: Oh my gay Imma go tell Keisha Fabo because she the smartest out'a'all of us.

Scene 2

Deltrese: Oh my God, I love seeing suffer on Jerry Springer! Imma go see her just to make fun'a her!

_ and Breadquanda are walking to Keisha's house when they run into Deltrese who is being a bitch as usual._

Deltrese: Haha, well, well, well, if it isn't Puttin' In and Putted Out! I just watched you on Jerry, and I laughed so hard up my fuckin' head that I was about a'choke on my own tongue! That's what you get when you can't afford a condom!

: It's a good thing my baby is with Bonshiquidilafondria, because Immabouta' beat you up!

Breadquanda: Imma beat her wif my fat!

Deltrese: Now I know you wouldn't — AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

_ and Breadquanda proceed to beat Deltrese up. When they leave, she is bleeding profusely and is unconscious._

Breadquanda: Let's leave her here befow someone sees us!

: Oh YAAAAAAH!

Breadquanda: Oh, look, it's Keisha's house right there!

Keisha: Hey, y'all

: Keisha, Keisha! Do you have iCarly's number?

Keisha: Yeah! Why?

: Breadquanda thought up dis brilliant plan where iCarly makes a video about how Darrell doesn't pay me child support anymore, and he'll get really embarrassed and then we'll end up on Dr. Phil!

Keisha: Oh my gay, I'm'n'arrange a video chat with them right now!

_They arrange the video chat_

Carly: So you said that he isn't paying child support?

: Yeah, he ain't, the bastard!

Freddie: Remember not to say that word when we're live.

_(eating fried chicken)_: Oh yeah. Okay.

Sam: I don't really care about cursing, it's just that these dweebs — is that fried chicken? _(Sam tries to jump into the screen and breaks the computer)_

Keisha: So I guess we'a be on iCarly tonight!

: YEAH, _DAWG!_

Scene 3

Sam: Good thing that was our spare PearBook….

Carly: Shut UP! I'm trying to figure out this ghetto name because I have to say it! Esha-wana-bafana-qu-iba-la-fondarelah

Sam: It's , stupid!

_Sam presses the applause button on her remote, praising herself for being able to say _ _quickly and correctly. _

Carly: Fine! You say that one, I say Breadquanda, and Freddie says Keisha Fabo.

Freddie: So we'll video call them at 7:03?

Carly: Yep!

Five hours later

Freddie: 5… 4… 3… 2…

Sam: Sam I Am! 

Carly: Carly with a Y!

Sam: Today, before our regular broadcast, we wish to introduce a victim of…

Carly and Sam: Deadbeat Daddy-ism! _(a scary-looking graphic of a man appears on the screen)_

Sam: There is a woman named , whose ex, Darrell won't pay her child support!

Carly: And her friends, Breadquanda

Freddie: and Keisha Fabo

Carly: Have brought her here for a

Sam and Carly: Live Video Chaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttt! _(Sam presses a button on her remote and applause starts)_

: If you've ever seen me on Maury or Jerry, I've been attemptinamatin'a' get Darrell to own up to his baby for six months now, but he in return stopped paying child support! So we made a rap just for you, Darrell. I've got my friend Bonshiquidilafondria with me, and she is gonna do my dance part while I pessify mah baby to keep her from cryin'.

Keisha:

Darrell, Darrell, like, it is your baby

Darrell, Darrell, don't be actin' shady

Darrell, Darrell, like it is your baby

You say you're droppin' dollars on this baby, right?

But how come you ain't be at home with him at night?

Where was you when he first walked on his two feet?

Come on, boy, I wanna see the receipts!

Freddie, Sam, and Carly: WOO-HOO

Sam: That was really good!

Carly: Let's see the comments.

"Breadquanda? What the f*** kind of name is that? Was your mom eating bread when she gave birth to you?"

Breadquanda: Yes, she was.

Sam: Another

"I finally can spell it! !"

: Actually, it's just spelled "Capital E – Capital dubayah – Capital N – Capital A – Capital A – N – D – R – E – A. EWNAAndrea. I just don't like people mispronouncing my name.

Carly: I have a feeling that people will mispronounce it anyway.

Freddie: Oh My God! There's a gun!

Darrell: Why you talkin' shit bout me, bitches?

Freddie: I just turned off our video. Now to our regular broadcast.


	2. Chapter 2

2 - iMVKF: P olice Troubles

Please be aware that this is a Fan Fiction

November 5, 2011, Late at night.

Scene 1

: Bitch, just gimme mah child support money.

Darrell: Yo, bitch, I live off of food stamps so I ain'nt a-give you food stamps!

: Then Imma kill you and sell yo' bones to Africa! _Takes Darrell's gun and points it at him._

Darrell: Not if I do it first! _Gets a knife out to stab . _

Keisha: No! Do you wanna take away dis chaald's muthah? _Amaya starts crying._

Darrell: Whateva, I gots to get to mah alley where I live to go fuck a hoe. Peace, bitches!

Breadquanda: Wait! You gots to untie us!

Scene 2

Carly: We can't just leave the ghetto girls with a kidnapper!

Sam: We have to! I know from experience that more people get shot if the police come than if they don't come.

Freddie: And my mom says that if I do ever so much as talk to a police officer, I will be sent to my Gramma Alphonso in British Columbia. She is ten times as cray as my mom.

Carly: Don't tell me _you're _saying "cray" instead of "crazy" like all the other geeks!

Freddie: I am not a geek! You all are cray!

Sam: Let's just leave.

Carly: Already leaving!

Freddie: Are you kidding me? This shit cray!

_In Keisha's Valley_

Keisha: Awwwww fuck. This is quack as crack, mah boyyyy!

Breadquanda: And you know that he ain't be even fuckin' a hoe, he be snortin' crack, cuz he is so fuckin ugly, even if his dick be eight inches long. , you hay hay bad taste in men mmmmhmmm, yo' taste be quack as crack!

: Ho mah gar now I know y'all ain't be fuckin' sayin' "quack" instead _del_ "wack" we all know dat _tu_ _dos_ be the ghettoest _del _dem all!

Keisha Fabo: Okayyyyy well fuck you because just because you be half Cuban doesn't mean like every other word has to be in Puerto Rican!

: ¡Upside-down exclamation point Ackkally, it be called _el Espa__ñ__ol_!

Keisha Fabo: Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I swear bitch you as bad as Deltrese and I would hay smack you arready if it ain'nt be for the fact dat we all be tied the fuck up!

: Well I still have the gun and I ain't be afraid to use it!

Keisha: Awww man Darrell is a fuckin' retard who the fuck ties some muthafuckin' bitches up and then fo'gets to handcuff 'em okayyyyy?

Breadquanda: SHUT UP THE BOTH A'Y'ALL! _Amaya starts crying again._

: Oh now look what you hay gon' done!

Keisha: Me? I —

Deltrese _from outside_: What kind of asshole fucks a hoe and den doesn't give dem the money? Come back here you muthafuckin' pussy!

Darrell: _comes inside; to _: Gimme that gun!

Keisha: Ho mah gay Deltrese is the hoe!

_Darrell goes outside and shoots Deltrese. Deltrese dies._

Breadquanda: Ho mah gay he hay kill her!

Darrell: Oh fuck! Witnesses!

: NO! _Darrell shoots Keisha and Breadquanda right in the head, but spares ._

Darrell: What have I done?

: Don't kill me!

Darrell: No, I won't. Here. Now you can sell me to Africa. _Darrell shoots himself in the mouth and dies._

: Someone needs to untie me! Help! HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPP!


End file.
